The Wilds of Finland

In a stroke of genius, I decide to end my trip with a few days trekking through the arctic wilderness. It's going to be great, I think. Just me, the compass, ten thousand reindeer, and non-stop daylight.

It is day two, and I am happily walking along with soaking wet feet, congratulating myself on my adventure.
"Congratulations, Liza," I say. "I mean, this is remote! No bridges, no trail, no sign of humanity! This is truly the last frontier."
"Be quiet, Liza," I answer myself. "I need to concentrate on not stepping in bog puddles."

Here's the thing about Finland. You're in the middle of nowhere in a land completely untouched by civilization, the only signs of life are piles of reindeer poo, and then you reach a lake and boom! there's a sauna. And there's a hundred Finnish people that all want you to take a sauna.

"Where did you all come from?" I say. "You don't even look tired."
"Hello!" respond the Finnish people. "Have you taken a sauna?"
"Um, no," I say.
"You should really take a sauna!" they say.
"Oh, it's okay," I say. "I think I'm just going to make some macaroni and fall into a death-like sleep."
"YOU MUST TAKE A SAUNA." The Finnish people declare, and there is no arguing.

Next thing I know, I am sitting buck naked in the sauna with three kind Finnish ladies. Once I get over the fact that there is nothing quite as ridiculous as a naked human being, namely me, I have to admit it is kind of nice. There are little beads of sweat appearing from places I didn't know I had pores. The nice Finnish ladies give me marital advice.
"I'm not married," I say.
They advise me to get married as soon as possible.

Then they say, "Now you must jump in the lake!"
"But yesterday the lake was a glacier," I say.
"Finnish people do it all the time! Go jump in the lake!"
"Are you going to jump in the lake?" I ask.
"Oh, no! It is too cold for us. But you're young! YOU MUST JUMP IN THE LAKE." And there is no arguing.
"Please come get me if my heart stops," I say.

My heart doesn't stop, but as my head is submerged in ice, I have a flash of appreciation for this fantastic country and the people in it who don't build bridges across raging torrential rivers, but build wood-burning saunas by remote lakes. I feel I have acquired some wisdom here, but that might just be the shock.